Friday, April 10, 2015

Needing Accountability...By: Zay

So I am sucking at eating healthy! Thank goodness bootcamp started this week, or most likely I would be sucking at working out too. Every time I go to start my 21 day fix, I somehow end up making up excuses for myself. I'm not sure what it is and why I'm going after hamburgers and onion rings every night, but it isn't healthy and I'm finding that I'm self destructing---and back to the binging life again. Of course eating disorders are something you never overcome, and I'm not sure why I'm doing this now? Perhaps I'm stressed--well I know I am--but it's not healthy. I am purposely sabotaging everything I do. Maybe it has a lot to do with the wedding coming up? I've been married before and it didn't work out, I don't want that to happen again. It's scary! But with Seth, I do believe I've found the love of my life, and I guess I just think I don't deserve that. My little counselor self has been trying to put the pieces together, and figure out why I'm doing what I'm doing...but for now, I need accountability. I'm re-starting the 21 day fix tomorrow, (and already in my head I'm thinking WAIT, I may want chick-fil-a, or whataburger tomorrow...maybe I should hold off until Sunday, but no!) I'm ending this cycle. I will be blogging everyday about what I eat and what workouts I do--and how much I hate it or love it...and will give weekly results. Maybe accomplishing something will give me some added confidence, that I so desperately need right now. As for my stats right now, I am 112.6 pounds...surprised I haven't gained anymore weight, but I think my added muscle has definitely helped out!!!

So here's to accountability!!! Before pics...meals...and workout info to come!!!

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